dilemma of life

neurological treatment i ain't want
psychatrist help i ain't need
the world gone turned to holographic zone
& my life -- two way street.
i lost all directions;
forgotten what was i 'bout
what i oft. used to be in past...
is only left in words i shout out.
how fast the life gone changed
how furiously the world blown wicked
i only want my true happiest self back
but i fuckin' wonder,
"how can i ev'n be what i never been?" shit!
it's the dilemma of life i passing throu'
the dexture of love being forgotten by me
hate's what reminant in corridor
& depression.. so hanging around door knob, ironically.