self depression

being so lost in depression,
i've lost my true self
somewhere in dark misery,
every night comin' after
same ol' day..
.. & carrying the catastropic loaf of unforbidden past history --
the history that i don't belong to anymore
yet its darkness overwhelmed me badly
everyday getting start-up with shine
but to me,
it's still a texture of misery ---
konvict self depression...
in which i'm utter sunk
& life half numbed with nausea perfection, imperfectly.