I posted a rap ov'r the web (where I do post my rest of the erotic poetry) and got an excellent review from one of the writers named "J.E.C." First read the rap and then head on to the review that i've got from him!
~*~*~
You roll ov'r my heart. I pull your skirt
You be in love. Nails tear up my shirt.
Lips bite the ears. I hurt. Be Flirt
You whisper the name. I pervert
My intense words wet you, “The Whole”
Undress yourself. I make you crawl.
You creep into bed. I call you “Miss Red".
Just do-do-do damn what I said.
Take off your trouser & lay on the bed.
I be “The Bad.” What you mad at?
Your daddy sleeping, I’m peaking at
Where’s your momma, baby? Is she with your boy-friend?
It’s an erotic song, Graphical words be wrong-wrong
You be my bait!
Lock up the door. Jump off... hell, to the bed.
Take off your clothes. Ruin every shelf.
It’s damage, blondie! I Reck-Wreck!
I speak to you, ye - “Thigh-to-Thigh”
Shake up your booty. It's raged-naked
I be real. Oh your boyfriend? Aww, He’s fake-baked
He's with your mother.
I ain’t sage. Ain’t belief in fate.
I hate faith. No Fate, kate. Let’s masturbate.
Jerk off the life. Hook up the world.
You cheatin' on your.. boyfriend & I mean it babe.
With real estate. Your erotic, mate.
It’s... Adam great. You know my name. No mistake.
I be no kid with any.... board-skate.
My words got written in empty-slate.
The pages got the hangover of... “Dark Ash”
You pancake. You cupcake.
You skinny face. I lust you.
Just one night. I said-said.
No heartache. With the morn, i’m gone.
Love brings me.... “Oh Heartaches.”
Being good means... “The Heartbreaks!”
I get the game. It’s fame of shame
or the shame with fame. So insane. Cut the crap!
It’s morn now. I lust you bad!
Your daddy waking but where’s your momma at?
Is she still with... your boyfriend?
Oh, What the... modern-damn-trend. Everywhere, Aww... bang-bang!
It’s Bangkok! Open the lock.
We be on the spot.
Your momma coming. Didn’t you hear the sound?
The sound of her heel.
I’m aware of that - oh yea... o' that feel.
I had a good time with her.. at the bay, hell on hue.
Now don’t give me that look.
I've been gentle with her & you.
Ye - once i'd lust her too.
Is it lie or true? You ain't care.
I tell you what - you spare-spare! Gotta love affair.
I care not. She's too hot!
It's fire babe. Just one night. No heartache.
It's intemperance that does fluctuate - oh time-to-time
Today, you with me. Morrow, you ain't
I get this.
You momma comin'. No ditch-pitch.
I gotta go. Won't be back until the babe, i'm rage-again!
~*~*~
Here's a link to reach for its first version that I've only shared on blogger:
http://frameuponthehearts.blogspot.in/2015/06/intemperance-dirty-night-rap.html
http://frameuponthehearts.blogspot.in/2015/06/intemperance-dirty-night-rap.html
One of the most fascinating and hilarious review i've ev'r got... given by Erin. Erin belongs to "Carbondale, IL" and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970 so, it's kinda pretty fascinating to have him stopped by my pages:
ReplyDeleteErin:
"sometimes life just throws too many darts at us when it comes to love....and we get disengaged...maybe we still try to fulfill needs, but the heart stays locked away.
there is such real life in this write---the momma with the boyfriend...yes, all that craziness is almost normal these days.
intense write, Dear..."
j.
Craig's one of the very thought-invoking writers himself. Every single I visit his pages.. do find something peaceful to get healed up, Indeed. He's from "Wonderland, AR"..
ReplyDeleteCraig reviews:
"Your voice in this one flows with such a fierce fire... you release the words like bullets... a pounding, wild rhythm of this emotionally charged euphoric place. Powerful!"
Another review comes from Rubie, who belongs to "NJ" and she's a retired high school English teacher from New Jersey where she's lived all her life, except for 5 years when she lived in Philadelphia in the mid 1970s. Today, she stops by & leaves her sweet words into the review:
ReplyDeleteRubie:
"A very intense piece. I enjoy the blend of romance and erotica, so well balanced in this piece. And the rhyme adds to the playful bombarding of imagery.
Well penned."
Lynn reviews the write, but before I share her words with you, let me tell you that she's from "OH" and is a "Crime branch officer". She deals with criminals, in her day-to-day-life.
ReplyDeleteLynn:
You have some very intense lines in this piece. It feels jagged, raw, "street" to me. Sex for sex and anger and anything else you want to secrete in the moment. This is not a man in love, but definitely in fire. How I read it, anyway. Always an interesting and rewarding read, sir :)