Trivia ~ The Trilogy

I.
Dehydrated throat;
Parched tongue...
longed to gulp some water down
but the more i swallowed ‘H2o’,
More body squirmed to get ..
soothed ov’r the night..till it’s dawn.
___________________________________________________________

II.
Sinister world i livin in
Sinful soul i became,
My religion, my faith, my God, my fate..
... gone spoiled the night my feet..
trembled ov’r the world that once i used to hate.
______________________________________________________________

III.
My age be just a number..
... getting replaced with anew one ev’ry year
I wonder, what’ll be the number,
When am done w/life & my life... done with me, oh dear.

Beyond The Coast

Ravishing Sak from xcross the worlds’
Living somewhere in the fathom of hearts’
Many spirits she sat on fire,
& countless nights she’d ablaze with desire.
Nobody knows, none the one understands
What she’s pretty ‘bout,
but whatever kinda bitter-sweet fly she’s,
Men giva damn ‘bout her shit, i devout.
Beautiful true lies she’s born with
So every sugary world she speaks - a lie
Sometimes, she’s damn hot at what she does,
though sometimes, i wonder, but “why?”
Ah.. She’s one aquatic fish
Who needs to get settled ov’r the ground,
Ravishing Sak she’s xcross the world
Living somewhere beyond the coast, the other side of mid-town.

The Naked Night

"She ‘s 30 & i under 40
Underrated under-dog sucking, or lord, I be...
No priest, no lies, but having the blessings off Christ, civilized
Holy god, Hi Mothers
Holy shits, I slaughter
Evil spirit - bad living, I be ...
..have nev’r been kinda kind goddamn to any “baby”, frankly speaking
but besides it, aside that, despite of E-erotic facts, she loving me
I ain’t know why, but, may be, she’s in need to get drilled, unquestionably

I tell you one story - the real one that belongs to fiction, ah, undoubtedly...
ov’r the night, late night, when me or my heart was wandering across street-city,
her window was open since eyes seized how ravishing she was goddamn looking..
standing on the top of the world, through pane, she was looking at me, cravingly
Her tongue was getting crushed ‘tween her teeth, her body twitching
Her eyes & lips were longed to get pleased, reasonably
Watching this, my heart started jumping
She called me up, I ignored her at first
but how long can one control his heart if she - the duck damn ducking, exotically
So, I - the erotic one, exotic things, I goddamned did...
..since her parents were taking curves in their bedroom
& I... with their one & only one daughter, who called me up to her room, suddenly
& i’ve nev’r been priest to spankies so just have had her serviced late night, nakedly."

Am Fine

An ash's dark so is its color, grey/gray
sometimes, the life does bark. . .
especially when am fluke to cold--astray
i don't consider anything real. . .
whatever you say/gotta say
but damn! it's hard to burn things alive. . .
especially when it's all linked up to your past that's gray/grey

psychologically, am sane
mentally, am disturbed
philosophically, i sage
but in general. . .
i literally gone indulged. . .
. . . up ov'r the wisp of howled night --
the night that speaks to me something i ain't deny
yup, hey sup, i know can't bring gone things back to my life, alive
perhaps. . . do remind gone--past every-spectacularly-singular-time. . .
especially when. . . darkness nudges me up to get high.
Damn!
_______________________________________________
. . .but you know what,
_________________________________AM F-I-N-E.

***

Ps.
Something hits me ov'r the night when i remind the time since all of my stuffs gone turned to a wisp of a night, yes, am talking of... my stuffs --- the stuffs that i lost back in the end of 2015. Every thing, every pic, every memory of my old-days -- the gone days, pics of my friends, colleges days, hangout days. . . & whatsoever too many things i lost since just... DUE TO MY stupidity, DUE TO MAH mistake...  the window got crashed & i lost my everything just in a blink, i'd sink...

... i don't blame my window for what shits happened to me but ME! Cos.. it already warned me not to proceed, perhaps, i ignored it & thought, ah, it's such a nothing but, resulting. . .

Ah, whatever__________________________________
________________AM FINE__________________Damn!

Past Reunite ~ An Epic

(i)
".. ah the implications of life
i hate being confronted by past, not-so confined
oh my present &...the root to reach future, un-divined
the world gone lost in infatuation & I - in analogies of love, hardly pristine..
.. being swung by lonely nights
I - the ME - wondering, what's life?
but... ah, the implications of life
... bewitching me by the theory of past, extraordinarily inclined...”

(ii)
“... it's such a shame, when you got life to be lived
you ain't so live it with peace,
thou' rejoice "Resting In Peace" especially...
when death welcomes you to get you slept in...
..deepest in the funeral of your necropolis made up of concretes
oh the life gone -- the implications of life, forlorn
i hate being confronted by past every time the past gotten by misery, i mourn..."

(iii)
“...people indulging pain --
the pain coming in guise of love, so tamed
i'm no-one to O-B-J-E-C-T anyone in the world of none, i hum
every-time am asked,
...what’s love? I answer, “Love’s pain.” my chum!

Damn... 
if love's so pain then i guess, am being drunk in... in 
the theory of love - the love, un-shamed... 

... am i drunk? "no!" but probably "yes"
just like the world's drunk, am drunk;
likewise you damn drunk, am being drunk;
likelihood, the love seemed drunk, yes, am gone drunk
& if you think you are what you are, yes, i claim,
it's not me but you the goddamn you #$%(!)@! drunk!”

(iv)
“... every single moment i supposed to remove my past
& everything related to its L-E-D-screen - the darkness - my life,
i'm being confronted by me, the mirror of past - the nocturnal nights
that once i used to swing in, no matter...
at what age i was being so drunken & the world - full of lies...
.. ah the implications of life, every-time i tryna ignore others,
i'm being ignored by so-called me, shall i smile?
oh, you people goddamn materialized
& the world followed by materialism, baby... the fake-ness symbolized...”

(pause)
... beep

& then wha... what?

(pause)
a second later...

“...everybody spend their whole life in "thinking" rather...
doing what they goddamn intend to do
& in between that, ah, yeah, you loose the REAL you...
yeah the real you...
being lost in the metro of thoughts wrapped up in you...
every-time you tryna get yourself healed up,
your melancholy thoughts got you goddamn lost in you.
yeah, you can't burn your past neither...
... can ev'r get rid off of its ambivalent vibes
as long as you being lost in you - the thoughts of you!”

(v)
The more you tryna turn your face off gone-things, more you turn yourself... your life off the world you living in. Funny it's but you got yourself unbound by the implications of life having you pretty swung within, & no matter what your goddamn day of next day might be
'bout, you can never ev’r be what you wish to be for.. as long as you ain't
stop thinking & start embracing on .. the realism of doing, but oh the sin...

Damnit S-I-N
Yeah, hallo holla... 

"eh yo, mia .. where's moe?"
"moww?"
oh, i mean, mah hoe?
"damn, man.. mia moe, i hear, hoe sayin' HO!
get yourself unclothed rather doin' vow woe. Damn!"

“.. the sin got people lost in sinner-world
every-time they step in confronting hearts,
oh, the real hunger got ‘em pretty-numbed
& later, people understand, oh man, loves hurt!

(vi)
You may choose to be lived with peace, love & lights, but
rather doin' so you embracing recalling the death, never declined

"... ah the implications of life
neither it let me live nor let me die
am i being dead or conspiracy got me alive?
nothing left to be lived for, oh lord,
am none to me, i cry. what shall i do? shall i cry?
every-time i tryna remove what i wrote in past,
life imprinting the ink of present --
... oh my present being hung in 'twix the roots unroot, i repast
The rubber - my life. The quill - my night.
what shall i chose to write with & to rub for? my Lord...
i’m being stuck in the analogies of infatuated night, “69” dwarf billboard...

“.... i singing blues to darkest life;
hate being confronted..
... thou' oft. popped up by mah past, my past reunite..."

(vii)
“... the peace never found in the funeral of life
but deepest in the core of heart being lost in implications of life
people only watch what they picturized in the grave of their sinister mind
so i wonder, how to find peace, if it's already resided to contemporary night?
am being lost in me & me - in uncertain typos of curtained life
i ain't know what i gotta do with people outta mind, but i guess..
first i gotta understand...
am either goddamn being stuck in the implications of life,
singing the rhapsody - a lullaby: oh my past, not-so confined (but reunite)
& the root to equidistant present approached by distant future, seemed undivined
am hung in 'twix the tapestry of gone-time;
don't know which way i gotta choose to walk on
everywhere i move... do find the "killings of perpetual vibes" --
oh the analogies of love & the love...
being stuck in goddamn implications of life - the life people visualized..."

 ",,, but the past's always reunite!"

That Side ~ An Epic

Had never seen your that side

Glad you revealed yourself to me, late night

Catastrophic love i’ve had brought me stereotypes, in dis-guise

I savored ‘em well; sipped the caffeine of misery, every time, i goddamn cried...

reminding the truism of your... that side..

..somewhere xcross the heart; deepest in my mind,

yeah you stumbled like a lump so dump damn stuck with my life

I was all ‘bout truth but you... belonged to flawless lie

that i confronted late night.

It’s not yous but there’s fault in gone-constellations

Lovers gone failed to volume what they goddamn fantasized

Every time you came xross me.. my life, i smiled,

the heart got magnetized by majestically awestruck beauty you’ve had, oh my...

but couldn’t ev’r understand what scars it goddamn had hid behind that face, Goddesses re-designed

Nothing could ev’r tear-tore-torn me apart... neither brought me ev’r down to knee, in life

but the moment i saw you your... that side

Yes, my love, i got myself strewn all ov’r the dwarf with emptiness, late night

Later tonight, “What might i be doin’ with me... my life... or the glass of champangne or wine?

Would i be alive or flying like a nationally symbolized Golden-Eagle soaring throu’ the sky?

Or may be, goddamn howling like a nocturnal hunter - an Italian-Wolf, during intercourse, i anguishingly anglicized?

Well... know nothin’... 

..ah, i knew everything ‘bout love but today, i wonder, “What it goddamn shit is!” 

I can’t ev’n breathe the moment i ain’t find you L-I-V-E in

What you just done to me, baby?

The more i forget you, more i reminding you back deep in my mind, Holy Chritst!

Whatever love’s ‘bout &...

.. whatsoever its thousands of shades bring whatever to goddamn heart,

In love, nobody can read...

..neither will ev'r read what’s written in the face of love, undisguised

Ah, my love, you - apple of mah eye, i had never seen your... that side

but glad you revealed that yourself to me or else...

baby, i’d never ev'r be THE P-O-E-T, i’m - underrated underdog, my sexiesness characterized

Oh you - liliac beauty off of my gracious past, 

You can never ever stem back into my present not ev’n to my personalized life

so stop tryna re-connect your im-moralized heart with the spirit i've, moralized, worth-while

Eck... to me, it’s hard to say goodbye

Cos every single time i remind those romania nights since you & me - me & you..

...got rolled down all ov’r the bed like a teetotum, our feet crossed every line

Oh hell yeah, we broke the boundaries - the limits - of love

& how sadistically you hummed every minute i stroked you real hard in your flesh, on the side

but ah, silly time..

...couldn’t ev’n be the... as same as it’s ev’r been before

What was in yesterdays is gone changed by night, likewise a story-line.

whilst i confronted the truism of your... that side.

Wonderings

Foes come undisguised with friends

Friends walk off your life in guise of enemies 

Ev’n goddamn people come & go & get fade-d away...

...hell damn lost, somewhere deepest in the fog of uncertainties.

Bad company begets bad people, & goodness go... gets slept away

Ev’ry morn your life swings to the wrong corner of heart

& your sanity n’vr comes back at you, again.

Tears stream down to the ripples of life

having the pleasure of fake-ness, in cell, oh hell

Life goes addicted to the habituality of coldplay-nights 

once you savored the bitter-sweet-shits pretty well.

***: 

 Eck, it's so easy to get in..

but way harder to get outta the wonderings of life, i dwell.

~ Flint ~

The world propelling deep into the woodland of remote days
Hardly the one confronting what life says
Everything loomed broken as quickly as phenomenally it quaked
Sometimes i wonder so sometimes do think,
"What am i goddamn living for, if the life be sadistically shuddered, forsake?"

Love’s such a Texture of Dexter -- A Nectar to what am quite addicted
Every time i tryna walk... past,
Ye - am being propelled into the caffeine of memories, life convicted
& what’s next: Nothing - My spirit gone distracted

Later, i...
Ah, every morn i... inhale its molten sips...
.. in a hope to walk gone-past,
Nothing seems to be confronted the way i'd want...
besides having things gone more harsh on life, at last 

~~ Nitwit, I quit, The Sinner in me goes grinned
Self-Love soothed body... & the numbness, i flint ~~ 

Thereof, holding numbed body & motionless spirit to night, i smiled, &..
              ... enlarge cups of bloody coffee, i throw away
& hold a Pen; Peeled-Papers to write shits whole day
24x7 i awry, the world being trembled ov’r the castle of misery ---
Plain-Plea-Pain -- poor heartaches ---
am bewitched with since the day i sinned & 7--deadly sins got me goddamn portrayed.

Un-Forbidden Misery

Love's nothing more than an hoaxed pleasure of uncertain ecstasy that has...
people lost in its... succulent-ly ambivalent-vibes.
It's no wonder to say, people lavished their whole life just in a search of love but hardly the ones do ev'r find what's merely endowed on earth.

"Man met Women;
two strangers turned to friends
friendship hooked up with companionship
but poor love hung in 'twix the fancy of one-trend -
the trend that has its own colors;
own virtue to be shown,
& when one dared to get merged in its hues,
he's beauteously gone."

Love sounds like a crossword of news-paper hardly solved by ones. It's superfluously an atrophy -
a complete squander ofdeteriorate time making people aware ofthings being existed right xross
the vicinity - somewhere in the meanderingsof delusive world, cos the matter of love, to people it's such a... rapture of unholy jouissance...

               ...bewitched by holographic implications of sinister heart.

The heart has people dematerialized or unsoundly
astrayed somewhere xcross the skirts (circumstances/parameters) of infatuation
or may be, somewhere in the mania of manic obsession, dramatically..
obsessed with lust, so it's no wonder saying that...

"Love wrings people 'pon the roof - a dust - of ecstasy
.. to have spirit met its destiny,
however, emotionalism overcomes sincerity...,
& innocence gone lost deepest in the womb - a grave -
one funeral of un-forbidden misery...

... either you love someone with faith
or with highly benevolent cups of sugary lies,
love'll be love just like people'll be people,
no matter how devoted you sound to its capriciously uncertain vibes."

The Flashback

Eh yo, we crush-ed the life...
.. 'neath the feet & walk-ed the land,
oh the dear, my foe, my friend,
life be laid down on the floor
we walk-ed the sand & have us howled
life be not a whore, we play -
not an object, we use & break
love be not a hoe to betray
neither a life - cinematic foreplay to make...
but we crush-ed the love & life
when it's gone, nothing entwined
let the life be lived with peace
your tears got taste the flavor of mint
the world be living in much of pain
that's what, my dear, you ain't understand
you be living in with your scars
let yourself be lived exactly the way you want
people living in plethora of pain
we ain't the one to be .. b... blamed
let your life just live the worlds'
let your love lost deepest in hearts'
what you got is what you lost
don't be stupid, you ain't the last
you be in queue of beauteous-love
love in .. in the peace of prettiest-dove
freedom is what your heart just wants
but you giving the pain that haunts
love be coming in guise of lust
but my love, you've things cursed
hopeless hopes & love in nights
contemporary romance for what soul shies
let your body meet heat of flesh
& let your feet go loosen up with flash-back.

Ps. Ah. scribbler writes another rant of scribble. Ha!

Adultery

(When you get grown, things go get older & your life go turned to a chemical funk of rotten thoughts - the same old-gone thoughts that once have been the reason to your success now become the very cause to your failure, for no reason, funny it is, you along with your life get yourself pretty lost deep in such torments of miserably manifested "AGEs OF ADULTERY")

At adolescent age,
"love is/was sage so was/is the virtue of life
heart - one quill so freed to its un-buckle-d vibes,
the spark love may wringe 'pon spirit been unfamiliar to innocence
but as steps reach-ed out to the world, love taste-d the truism of very night..."

At adultery,
"you come to understand what adulthood be bout
& how it may suppress or devastate the succulent heart,
though, you can't help yourself not to get lost in sleazy crowd...
.. of people incidentally numbed by the coarsest of ideas, un-devout..."

later on,
"... when you step up to maturity,
immaturity walk off its way,
your life becomes the radiance of intolerance
& its memories be never read away..

the memories go adhered to anew behavior, incurably
with maturity,
& you oft. found damn lost to dysphoric constellations in no reassurance,
especially when life slept in the wrong corner of adultery."

Humans be the creature of habits so it's true, once whatever kinda habit (or an addiction) you opt. in life, you get addicted to things you do on regularity with or without compassionate consent of heart, undisguised. And, it's all "adultery" where desperation overcomes your heart & spirit gets bowed down to delight of seduction, every middle of night. People find peace in "numb-ness", but never understand what it all takes to be numbed: The Disturbance Of Mind.

***

"Writing" works as a stress-reliever to people who "write" so one man without hopes write in his dairy the night since his body was whole numb & the hands were pretty shivering ov'r the castle of peeled-pages, though somehow he brought himself a glass of drink & pinned his thoughts in words which gushed in whispered somewhere around the darkness of his room that...

"Modernism indulged by modernity
sometimes, i wonder, why do i write so if..
i e'vn myself seemed failed to find the state of serenity."

Astray Of Lies

"Everybody lost in gone-memories so am i
& when it comes to blown-reality
i ain't know what am goin' throu', for what & why
life became an piece of ash ---
the astray be its flown-night
ev'n the world residing deep in its homed-grave ---
the engraved sombre i lost in
& keep wondering, how to get off such torments of past-life?"

Ps. It's easy to get in but way harder to get outta things you get yourself lost in, however, without experiences, there's no life. Ev'n the life's all 'bout experiences. Perhaps, sometimes, your experiences, especially the dark ones, become the cause to your own reality which further & farther stop you doin' what you have to. Resulting, the fear of guilt, poor heartaches, misery of gone-days, pain off of forbidden-cum-"infatuated"-love, rotten thoughts of adolescent-age stemmed into your matured life & just the memories of passed-days... everything impact you undisguised with "indigenous" aches you keep watering deep in your very heart in guise of tears. Whether you want getting yourself healed up or not, to some extent, past heals you whole up, but additionally, it's one of the major obstacles "left" to your numbed life as well that has you oft. stopped right in the middle of the journey you "start-ed" to accomplish things around, to get undone things done on surround not cos, it's what life is but, most of the times...

"people damn lost in gone-memories so am i
every single time it comes to blown-reality,
i ain't know, what am goin' throu', for what; for whom & just why?
life - a piece of paper thou',
i consider it cold-ashes - "The Astray" - of perpetual lies
un-forgiven faith's being forgotten in... to 'tis very world -
perhaps,
i keep stumbling right ov'r the funeral-cum-wrecked home of passed-life."

Happy New Year 2016

Happy New Year 2016, hope this year i accomplish things i couldn't have done so in past few gone years.